Plis Deh Jakarta!

Jakarta Governor Fauzi Bowo has thumbed his nose at a Supreme Court ruling and said the city will forge ahead with a major sea reclamation project. (JG Photo/Jurnasyanto Sukarno)

Bang Foke is pushing ahead with the sea reclamation project in North Jakarta, despite environmental experts saying that it will be disastrous, and even despite blocks from the State Ministry of the Environment and the Supreme Court.

Experts say, Jakarta’s public transport system needs an overhaul.

…there would be no ease-up in the daily traffic jams experienced by residents in the capital unless major changes were made to the public transportation system.

Who says Indonesia doesn’t have any smart people?

Force Vehicles Off Roads to Cut Gridlock: Expert

Curb vehicle ownership by additional taxes for 2nd or 3rd vehicle, road taxes, build effective public transportation systems, etc. etc.

So apparently, after 5 years being used by the previous tenant, allegedly, 495 legislator’s houses in the DPR complex are in such a state of disrepair and are up for renovations with a cost of around Rp 900 million per home. Yes, you read that right, per home. With taxpayer’s money, no less.

This is totally preposterous! They should spend it on making a twin of the Leaning Tower of DPR.

So the statue above is apparently so offensive or something that it has to go, well at least according to FPI, and despite the protests from the artist, I Nyoman Nuarta. The Bekasi mayor has bowed down to pressure and ordered the destruction of the statue within 21 days, citing that it has no permit, among other reasons.

So I suppose we should tear down the Kereta Kencana statue and any other I Nyoman Nuarta work of art (as he always takes inspiration from living things), just because FPI says so.

And this from the group which tried to disband a transsexual rights forum, thinking it was a drag queen show. Bravo! At this rate, they’ll be running the city any time soon.

So, Jl. Pangeran Antasari, one of the busiest roads in South Jakarta, is going to be made a one-way street. Problem is, the Jakarta city administration hasn’t figured out which way.

Really increases my level of confidence in their planning capabilities…

Today we’re writing with a slightly different tone. We’re writing down ‘lifesavers’, those little things that are small blessings in the chaotic life of an average Jakartan. We’re writing down 5 points as an example:

• Fried snack vendor (gorengan). The presence of these vendors on street corners are a godsend to those in hunger but either too busy to get a proper meal, or the traffic is preventing them to. Tasty, too!
• Drink, candy & cigarette vendors. Almost at any busy intersection, you can find people selling drinks, candy and cigarettes – some offer car to car, and others sell from their small warung. They even sell soap bars, candles to ointments for rashes.
• That empty blue car at rush hour. Any street-wise Jakartan knows, Blue Bird is the preferred choice of taxi service, to the point that competing taxi companies also paint their cars blue (even with a lookalike logo). So when it’s rush hour and you need a cab, one empty Blue Bird is often hard to find – and thus a blessing when you do find one.
• An empty seat on the bus. Bus rides can last from 5 minutes to 2 hours, depending on congestion and the amount of passengers. So that empty seat means a lot.
• Polisi cepek. A lot of the time these guys are more harm than good, but when you really need them, and provided you wave some money out your window first, they’ll help you get through a busy intersection. True businessmen.

So, do you have any suggestions of these small blessings unique to Jakarta? Give a comment or tweet us a reply!

Workers tend to their stock of little LPG canisters. They will one day grow up to be real LPG canisters, changing blue in color. Unfortunately, those that don't grow, blow up.

Photo credit: Jakarta Globe/Antara

The city administration is currently pushing their green building agenda into schools, which from the article, a green building is seemingly defined:

• less use of wood to decrease the need of chopping down forersts
• use of solar panels for power (the article says the use of ‘panel tata surya’; I assume that’s a mistype)
• better ventilation as to decrease the need for air conditioning
• more efficient use of water and electricty
• independent waste management, whatever that means
• and more use of wood in building construction (yes, the article contradicts itself)

They say it is part of an effort to educate children on the need of eco-friendly buildings, with the bill going up to a total of Rp 16 billion for two school locations.

In the meantime, many schools, even in Jakarta, are in no condition to be used as a place to learn. The schools might become, um, a bit nicer, but what’s to say about the general living conditions of the surrounding neighborhood?

Seen on a Gramedia bookshelf – a Quran-reciting VCD sitting quietly next to the “Hantu Jamu Gendong” VCD.

Here is Plis Deh Jakarta’s scale of stupidity, 1 being simply dumb, 10 being outright idiotic:

1. picking your nose in a parliamentary session
2. using your BlackBerry while driving (c’mon guys… admit this is stupid)
3. trying to overthrow the government by burning tires in the street and hunger strikes
4. throwing trash in the river, then blaming the government for mismanaging floods
5. street demonstrations by whoever, provoking the cops to take action then claiming police brutality
6. queueing 5 hours to get a pair of sandals
7. crossing the street where there’s obviously a pedestrian bridge
8. overtaking traffic jams at a bottleneck (do’oh!)
9. riding a motorcycle while one hand is holding something else (cigarette, phone, LPG gas tank, 1 gallon water bottle, baby, etc)
10. SMS-ing while riding your motorcycle, without a helmet and no headlights at night

If you don’t agree (or perhaps offended ) by our list, don’t bitch! Make your own list and put ‘writing/reading Plis Deh Jakarta’ on the top. We won’t mind