Plis Deh Jakarta!

For most Muslims, devout or otherwise, it’s the time of the year where Muslims have to fast from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. I’m not going to delve on why and how, but it’s the unique way Jakarta and Jakartans react to the fasting season:

• almost every mass media is filled with Muslim-centric shows and series. The TV stations compete with each other to get some prominent ustad say something 10 minutes before sunset (when you stop fasting)
• restaurants offer ‘buka puasa’ packages, and an entire army of street vendors appear in various places of Jakarta to offer the tajil, which is food for eating when stopping fasting for the day.
• traffic jams are unbelievable in the hours before sunset – but the roads are empty right after, since everyone has stopped for a drink or meal
• food courts and restaurants are filled with people who are not eating 10 minutes before ‘buka puasa’
• A lot of offices open later (since their employees had to get up for breakfast before sunrise, so must obviously sleep more) and close earlier (so that their employees can go home earlier to have ‘buka puasa’ at home – not factoring in the traffic jams)
• Some gangs claiming to be the guardians of Islam – or whatever – organize sweeps of areas known to have bars, nightclubs, pool halls and any other night entertainment venue, to ‘urge’ them to stop activities during the fasting month. Sometimes they will even vandalize, just because the venue is open in daytime, and even though it’s just a mom and pop grocery store.

Anyone who feels they can enjoy a glass of Teh Botol topped with a lot of ice on a hot day, can also enjoy this picture with equal measure. More likely than not, the same ice hanging in the air, near all the exhaust vents, the rear wheel and next to the guys’ ass, is now sitting in the glass in front of you.

This doesn’t include the accumulated pollution that sticks to the ice while these guys take their time to talk on the roadside without even getting off their motorcycles.

… and let’s see how many we can stack up!

.. of Ariel Peterpan, works as a bajaj driver. He even puts his claim on his vehicle…

Last week, in one of those unexpected traffic jams in Kuningan, I saw a guy get hit by the Transjakarta bus. In the midst of unmoving traffic, he got out of his cab and inadvertantly stepped in the Transjakarta lane, and apparently there was a bus right behind him. The poor guy, a Malaysian national, survived but crushed his arm.

There have been many sad stories of people getting hit by buses, Transjakarta and otherwise; and in many cases, they were standing too far from the curb, on the street, were jaywalking (even when a pedestrian bridge is nearby) or even falling off the bus: the most gruesome case was a man fell off his bus on the high-speed tollway, and got hit by a car, blasting him to pieces.

It is sad for the families and friends left behind – but it is also sadder that many people – pedestrians and motorists alike – seem to ignore safety. A helmet is considered a mere suggestion and some aren’t even built to protect. Crossing bridges stand empty because it’s “easier” to cross the street below directly, even if you have to avoid speeding traffic or climb over fences. And, however clearly the busway lane is marked, people still tempt fate and go there. Would it be so different if the lanes were train tracks? No, because we also hear of various accidents involving people or vehicles and the trains that crash into them.

I thought one of the basic human drives was save your own ass? I guess that instinct only comes at imminent threat – when a bus is speeding in your direction – and does not apply to preventive measures.

I feel my condolences for the families left behind because of these accidents – but they were accidents that could have been avoided.

Hm. I’m not funny today.

… the store comes to you. So no more forgetting about the shopping list.

Interesting pastime.

Soccer, or football for some, garners some of the most fanatic fan following, anywhere in the world. Nobody knows why. So you’d think Jakartans would be all over their beloved Persija, right? Not really.

Apparently, the late Tupac Shakur is not so late at all, having retired from the chaotic rap scene in the US to peacefully sell sate kambing at Mal Artha Gading. Having converted to Islam and did the pilgrimage to Mecca, he has left behind his sordid days as a rhyme-hustling rapper and has contented himself with running his own food stall. Franchises welcome.

Ian Fleming, most popularly known for his James Bond novels, apparently is still alive and well, and retiring in Jakarta by way of working in an entirely different field altogether, so as to throw off conspiracy theorists.

So apparently Jakarta is a place where allegedly dead people actually still live on to this day, and not even having to change their names.

MUI Masih Kaji Fatwa Haram Rokok

So the chaps who know more about religion than most of all do, seemingly can’t decide on whether smoking is haram or not, ‘because we need to think about the people whose livelihood depend on the tobacco industry’. As I have said in a previous post, I am not against people who smoke (but definitely against the smoke produced), but this case is rather unique – c’mon guys, it’s either haram or not haram. Would the MUI reconsider making pork not haram because it is the livelihood of many people?

And like it would make any difference, anyway.

Got this [spam] advertisment from the mailing lists (I took the liberty of editing out the company name). I wonder how many dupes fall for this ad? Can become rich, famous and powerful with no money investment, and the liberal use of ‘free media’ catchphrase. You just need to have the skillz and willingness. Note that they use ‘potential income’ in the ad. More likely it’s potential that at one point you may make money…. or may not. Another phrase for ‘free’ is ‘doesn’t make a dime’. Hence it’s not definite income, it’s potential income. It’s a really good deal!

I thought it would be a good thing to give Indonesia, specifically Jakarta, a break from my rants and sarcastic routines to congratulate the country for its 63rd year of independence. Seriously, the country is in a bad shape, but at least we got here by determining our own fate instead of having it handed to us by others.

Merdeka!

Photo by Mr Aaron. License Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0.

Jauh dari laut sekarang?

Finally! We get a non-seasonal break from the scorching heat to cloudy skies and lower tempratures. A lot of people have been talking about the nice, cool weather for the past few days, but being the sarcastic jerk I am, I would like to remind you of the virtues of the rainy season:

• get your umbrellas ready. In that case, might as well take the gumboots out of the closet as well.
• when was the last time you checked your car? don’t let the windshield wipers stop working on a late, rainy evening.
• friends in the flood-prone areas – better get ready for anything.
• put those buckets at the leak-prone points in your house. Or maybe it’s time to fix it already.
• clean up those water drains! Or else you’d be facing your very own, personal flood.
• companies with give-away merchandise – this is a good time to give out those odd-coloured umbrellas, this time people will just take them, no questions asked.
• Motorcycle riders – get those ponchos, sheets of plastic, riding boots or plastic bags with rubber bands ready. Might as well use swimming goggles.
• Don’t leave your laundry outside! Somebody might steal it, whether or not its raining. (yes, laundry gets stolen)
• Make sure you have appointed strategic waiting points to wait out the traffic jams. Yes, not waiting out the rain, but waiting out the impending traffic jams it brings with it.
• Jakartan government – do what you always do when rainy season comes. Whatever it is. I never figured that out. Should be something, right?