Plis Deh Jakarta!

Imagine rolling hillsides side-by-side with tea plantations, encircled by really big, posh houses, all empty. Imagine virtually only one major road connecting that area to the city, and imagine it only being filled with people on the weekends – with their cars of course, creating weekly traffic jams that aren’t even news anymore.

Done imagining? Yep, it’s Puncak. These hillsides, which are naturally supposed to be water catchment areas, are instead filled with big, empty houses owned by really rich people, and are usually empty during the week and rented out during the weekend. Talk about the needs of the few going above the needs of the many – the burst of villas in the 1980s in the Puncak area has caused unchecked development, and, yes, eventually, more water coming down the rivers to flood Jakarta because it is not absorbed enough by the plants that are still there.

So a 20-year overdue crackdown on these villas is coming. When? We don’t know yet, as finally the authorities have the smarts to not reveal the schedule. Well, at least something is being done.

… truk yang ‘anti cinta’ ini sebentar lagi hancur berantakan.

The Tangerang government is holding weekly searches to hotels in the town area in search of ‘adulterers’, alcohol and ‘illegal prostitution’. Oh, is there ‘legal prostitution’?

Anyway.

Many non-married couples were caught in non-star hotels, registered before being sent home, and the hotels were also searched for alcoholic drinks, as part of the enforcement of 2005 bylaws banning adultery, premarital sex and alcohol. Bear in mind that these same bylaws practically forbid female citizens to walk alone at night in fear of suspicion of prostitution.

A city public order agency official states that these actions are to avoid Tangerang becoming into a city of prostitution and alcoholic beverage sales, keeping in line with the city’s motto, “good morals”.

Well, I’m no advocate of alcohol or premarital sex, but seriously, aren’t there more serious issues to handle? Like, real crime?

The governer, in an applausable move, has rejected the lowering of automotive taxes proposed by the Finance Industry and Jakarta Revenue Agency. Why yes, it will remain a very big burden to motor vehicle owners, but see what happens when the tax is lowered:

• lower taxes means more people will buy cars or motorcycles.
• more cars and motorcycles equals worse traffic jams!
• more traffic jams actually hurt the economy more than it will impact the supposed revenue that comes from the increase of peope buying cars or motorcycles.

Note that the taxes have not been raised either. So Bang Foke has basically stated that “this is my call, not yours” to those agencies, and further pointing out that if we want to have a stimulus package for the industry, it shouldn’t be by cutting revenue here and there – it should be one that actually creates jobs.

Let me take that point a bit further – reviving the economy doesn’t mean selling more cars *winking at Gaikindo*, but it means making sure the people have enough money to spend. And for that to happen, it shouldn’t be just considering one industry out of the thousands available in Jakarta.

Maybe Gaikindo can take a hint from the telco operators, where they are actually decreasing their prices, but making money elsewhere from the same subscribers.

Four prisoners escaped from the Ciracas detention center last Friday, and walking out of the centre, walking, out unlocked doors and gates. Even when other prisoners shouted, trying to get attention of the security guards – doing who knows what – the security guards didn’t budge.

Erm, what’s the point to a jail where all the doors and gates are unlocked?

Paris = Pariaman City??

In a study that is totally serious and totally not funny, experts say that 50% of professional workers that work in office buildings suffer from “sick building syndrome”, due to various toxic chemicals inside the buildings, and other factors.

Working from home is looking more and more attractive…

In an apparently newsworthy item, the Jakarta Post, quoting Tempointeraktif.com, reports Hillary Clinton visiting USAID-sponsored toilets in Petojo, Central Jakarta. This visit comes right after her meeting with President SBY.

It’s a bit sad that a high-powered diplomat from the US deems it very important to visit a toilet location in Jakarta in the short 2-day trip…

Somehow, the sudden disappearance of ‘blue pill’ (read: Viagra) stalls along Jl. Gajahmada is linked to the presence of Hillary Clinton in Jakarta today. Well, she does have a dinner appointment at Gedung Arsip Nasional on the same road, but I’m not sure why that would be a reason for the disappearance.

Hm, what could be the reason? A sudden halt in supply, or a sudden halt in demand?

The Indonesian police force – or law enforcement agencies in general in this country – are notorious for rolling out press conferences to give public statements (read: brag) about some sort of law enforcement action in place, i.e. big drug bust, before the action actually takes place.

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise when the police spokesman inadvertantly mentioned where Hillary Clinton will be staying in Jakarta during her coming visit.

I can imagine the Secret Service collectively facepalming.

I feel sorry for the concert promotors….

The city government’s plan to replace the existing Bajajs in Jakarta with newer, greener ones has been aborted. Why? Apparently, the factory doesn’t produce them anymore. To be more specific, the Indian company producing these three-wheeled menaces are not doing any production for the Indonesian market anymore.

The ubiquitous, lithe and pollution-spewing public vehicles have been part of the Jakartan landscape for ages, but since they have not been replaced by newer models since, um, who knows when, we already can see some newer, CNG-powered Bajajs roaming the streets, with less pollution, and apparently less manouverability (can’t see them winding their way through traffic like their older cousins as the CNG tank is very heavy).

Despite its apparent noisiness, pollution and disregard for safety, Bajajs still remain an important part of the Jakartan public transport service, if not its heritage.  It’ll be a sad day when these Bajajs die out and be replaced by… Kancils?

Seeing that coincidentally Valentine’s Day this year fell on a Saturday, various venues and companies created Valentine events to attract people to come and ‘celebrate’ Valentine’s at their place or event (even I am guilty of coming to one of the numerous Valentine events held yesterday). Which is all fine and lovely, except to certain people who think Valentine’s Day is either not in line with Indonesian culture or with their religion, as Valentine’s is either a Western capitalist apparatus or a Christian celebration. But I think those arguments are beyond this website… so anyway.

What do you get when you hold sooo many events in one day, on a Saturday night? This.

So hope you enjoyed your Valentine’s Day in your cars

So Jakarta, happy Valentine’s Day, we only bitch so much because we love you!

Suatu hari di sebuah angkot, seorang pelajar turun setelah angkotnya berhenti di pangkalannya. Pelajar tersebut menghampiri sisi jendela samping sisi penumpang.

Pelajar: Pak, makasih ya.

Supir: (bermuka bingung)

Pelajar: Pak, makasih ya. (ditekankan dengan anggukan kepala dalam dan agak melotot)

Supir dan pelajar saling tatap-tatapan semenit-dua menit; si pelajar dengan tatapan berusaha menghipnotis supaya nggak usah bayar, si supir dengan tatapan bingung dan agak kesal.

Supir: Ya udah…..  ibu apa kabar?