Plis Deh Jakarta!

Let’s pick a floor. Oh, pressed the wrong one, crap. Press again. There we go… I’ll just act stupid when the lift arrives on the wrong floor. Then comes in the guy who waits 15 minutes for the lift to get up or down one floor. ONE FLOOR! Jeez. Then there was the guy who before getting off the lift from B1 to G, presses all the floors before getting off. Another guy keeps pressing his floor button until he reaches his destination, probably a proficient computer games player. Well, finally I’m at my floor. Since I stood at the back of the lift, I have to go around people who seem immovable, even when I ask for a way out. That, and the fact that the guy playing with the open/close buttons almost crushes me with the doors when I finally step out of the lift.

Finally in the lift; bumped into an old lady who was going out of the lift, but who cares? I’m in the lift. Multitudes of blessings await me. But then, there’s always a guy who plays with the open/close buttons whenever the lift stops on any floor. ALWAYS. I almost got crunched by the doors getting in because this guy pressed the close button already, not waiting for everybody to finish getting on the lift. If he/she was the first person to get on the lift, they’d play with the buttons, except when there’s somebody running to the lift.  In this case, they just stare at the guy and leave the lift close on its own. Sometimes some guy would press the ‘close’ button right after someone got off, and also press the ‘open’ button repeatedly even before the lift stops at a floor. Any floor.

Once the lift finally arrives, it’s a race to get in the lift, whether or not there are people coming out, or even of there’s a small plaque stating ‘Please give way to people getting of the elevators’.  Even if, the elevator is actually going down first before going up. I have got to get in that lift.

Ever wait for a lift at one of Jakarta’s office buildings? There’s always some guy who keeps pressing the up/down buttons when the lifts take their time arriving at a certain floor. Yes, repeatedly pressing the button makes the lift go faster, sir, something like your Playstation at home. Keep pressing ‘Fire’ and you’ll kill all the bad guys at some point – thus it applies to the lift as well. Pressing more often will get the lift to your floor ever so quicker.

Then there’s the guy who doesn’t repeatedly play with the buttons, but presses the wrong button. I.e.; on the Basement 2 floor, you’re supposed to press the ‘up’ button to get up to Ground, right? I have been mistaken all these years, apparently. You’re supposed to press the ‘down’ button to get the lift to come down to you. That’s totally logical. Except for the fact that the lowest floor, they only provide an ‘up’ button. How’d you figure that?